The Big Picture

I cannot believe that the last time I blogged was months ago! I thought I would be writing and sharing my thoughts more during this period... Heh... guess I was enjoying some solitude.

But...Fret not... I am back!

Today, I am going to write about something that happened to me recently. Or rather, to be specific, something that someone said to me recently. So here it goes...

The other day, I was sharing about how the surgical mask is kinda big on me and I don't really like it. Then this man said this to me, "I thought you like it big". 

Let it sink in (no pun intended).

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It took me a while to get what he was insinuating. Just in case you are not aware, I am a petite Asian woman and I am dating a tall Spanish man (also colloquially known as "angmoh"). So obviously, my initial reaction was "HUH?????!!??!?" Because why would I like a mask that is always falling off? It is troublesome and uncomfortable.

Anyway, long story short...  I finally got what he meant and that comment got me ruminating about bi-racial or Asian/White couples (especially AFWM couples). 

First, I wonder why local guys think that local women who date angmohs are either in it for sexual pleasure or money or both. Is that insecurity or dissent or both? Also, it is a rather archaic mindset to think that the angmoh/White is superior and that by virtue of his/her race, he/she is more desirable. Perhaps for some couples, it might be true. But not all. 

Making sweeping and insensitive statements like this is baffling to me because it is almost like one is looking down on his/her own race or his/her worth. And that is VERY ironic because the statement maker usually comes from a place where he/she is mocking the Asian for choosing an angmoh over a local (i.e. implying that Asian thinks the angmoh is better than the local). It is very... counter-intuitive. 

Second, it is not very nice to make a one-off comment like that unless your intention is to shame or make someone feel bad. If it was made during a discussion about relationships and race, I would be more than willing to share my thoughts (and elicit the other person's views as well) because the context and intention are different. But it was not. It was clearly a statement meant to belittle (again, no pun intended) me and people in relationships like mine. 

Now, before I end this post, I just want to clarify that I am not saying that such comments are always negative and cynical, and therefore people should shut up. They should not. I am saying that we can all expand our horizons. The world is so big and colourful...we just need to open our hearts and minds to see it.

And I really hope one day... we can all sincerely accept people for how they look like, regardless of their skin colour or gender, etc. Wouldn't it be nice?