Be bigger than that

I've been trying to find inspiration to pen this down since last week but I just didn't know how to get down to it. Now, I do.

Today's post is going to be about self-hate and self-doubt.

This topic sparked my interest because I realised that people my age, including myself, are generally quite insecure about themselves.

How many of you have gotten really nonconstructive remarks about your appearance or your sexuality or your race or your choices in general, etc? Personally, I have received these:

- Bel is short and there's nothing she can do about it.
- Bel's nose is huge and it's so ugly.
- Bel is so tan. She doesnt even look Chinese. God knows what race she is.
- Bel is so weird. I don't know if she is attention seeking or she just plain weird.
- Bel is so anti-social.

Fire away, people. Tell me more. I really don't mind.

I'm completely aware that it is inevitable to avoid these nasty people and this is why I want to talk about self-hate and self-doubt.

You cannot stop narrow-minded and jealous people from hating you. You really can't. And please don't expect people to be nice. They will not be.

But let me tell you what you can expect. You can expect you to be nice to yourself. (This sounds linguistically incorrect and it probably is but I'm not going to do anything about it. Sorry!)

If you're not doing anything illegal or blatantly wrong, just be proud of who you are and take these awful comments with a pinch of salt.

For example, yes, I am really short but at least I get more legroom in airplanes and beds. I'm quite pleased with these simple but lame benefits so don't complain about my height on my behalf.

And yes, my nose is also ridiculously huge. It is so huge that a proboscis monkey probably looks decent next to me. Anyway, I find proboscis monkeys quite adorable. Have you seen my dog? I have a thing for really interesting looking animals.

(Typing these are making me smile... In fact, I'm going to post a picture of a proboscis monkey now)

His expression is hilarious! It is like saying, "What the hell? Is that the best you got? I have a big nose. So what?"

Anyway, back to the topic.

I also wanna talk about people who know that they are imperfect and are over sensitive to general comments. I don't want to talk about other people so I'll use myself as an example.

It is a fact that I am a bit weird and somewhat introverted. It is also a fact that sometimes I come off as being aloof. When people make snotty comments when they see me at gatherings like, "Omg! You're here! Thought you wouldn't come cause you're a loner or something." I really never ever get offended by that even though they are obviously somewhat true.

I am definitely a loner sometimes. It's not a bad thing. I don't feel offended because I honestly think it's cool being the way I am. I am a loner and I'm ok with it. If I am personally offended by people who point that out, how can I expect people to accept me when I don't even give myself enough respect to be proud of myself....

Does that make sense? I think this theory applies in all types of situations - good, bad, etc.

So for example, if your friend makes fun at you for being gay (not in a malicious way), don't be pissed off. You are gay and you have every right to be. Respect yourself and give yourself props for admitting that you are gay and you are not ashamed of it. That's who you are and people can scoff all they want. They can hate you but don't let them make you hate yourself.

Here is a random photo of a proboscis monkey looking very pleased with what I said. He approves.

So anyway, the main point of this really badly structured blog post is to give people confidence.

You do not deserve to be put down by petty comments. They are really unfounded anyway. Laugh it off and be yourself. You're bigger than that - as big as my nose...  :)