After a year studying abroad

I feel like I owe it to myself to crystallise what I have learnt from my short year abroad.

Disclaimer:
1) This post is not meant to promote any university/country. It is also not meant to underestimate the quality of local education or criticise locals who choose to study here.
2) This post is based on my opinions and experiences.

My journey began about 1 year and 5 months ago. I had just gotten my GCE "A" Level results. It was not as bad as expected. A couple of As and Bs. One little flaw. I was not extremely proud of myself but I was definitely not disappointed either. I mean, deep down, I really felt like I had not done justice to myself because I did not put in consistent effort and it showed. However, I knew I could not change anything so I went on with life happily.

About a week after my results were released, my mother decided to bring me to an education fair to explore my choices. I knew I was definitely going to enter into a local university and most likely read Business/Accountancy so I was not looking forward to anything. If I really had to study abroad, I knew I had to study something more challenging - Law. I did not know if I wanted to be a lawyer (although I did think about it when I was younger...) or do anything related to Law but I guess studying a subject that I did not really like for another 3-4 years was not going to make a big difference. After all, haven't I been studying subjects that I absolutely loathed for the past 13 years of my life?

So I made my application to a few UK universities. And guess what... yes, I got in. I was slightly taken aback but I was not completely shocked. They were not top universities so I knew my chances were pretty decent. I guess I was taken aback initially because

- I did not exactly want to go abroad. My family was not grappling with financial difficulties but we were not doing extremely well either. We had savings (well, more like retirement money) but not a lot. How could I possibly take my parents' retirement fund and go abroad?
- I already planned to study Business/Accountancy. Law sounded really cool but I was not sure if I wanna go down that path.

Anyway, cut the long story short... My parents encouraged me to go overseas and I thought, "Ok, since they are extremely supportive, I shall go."

I was really excited to go abroad to study. I am not the dependent kind and I love freedom. Don't get me wrong though. When I say "freedom", I don't mean "partying, drinking, smoking, drugs, sex, meeting strangers from dubious places, etc". I mean "freedom" as in "not living life on a tight leash and having to adhere to Singapore's definition of happiness and success".  I wanted to see the world outside my world.

Cutting the long story even shorter. Here is my list of advantages and disadvantages:

Disadvantages first.

1) If you're not going to a "top university", be prepared to face a lot of snobbish comments from people. Even people from local universities.
I used to be like them. I used to think that there was absolutely no reason to go abroad to study unless it was Harvard or Oxford. Or unless it was sponsored aka scholarship. In retrospect, I was really stupid and myopic.

2) Getting used to the weather, especially during winter. It was almost exhilarating to play in the snow on the first day of winter but after a while, I was afraid to go out.

3) Missing food and people and pets. I missed our hawker centres - the convenience and variety. I missed my dog even more. She couldn't Skype with me and despite efforts to make her acknowledge me on camera, she was just clueless. As for my family members and friends, we Skype/Tango/Line/Whatsapp/WeChat/Email very very often so I never felt like I was forgotten. I was also missed.

4) Making new friends. With a smaller pool of Singaporeans in the UK, it was even harder to find one or two close friends and confidants. Having angmoh friends didn't help either. Sometimes, people may get the wrong idea and assume I'm a SPG.

Advantages.

1) Enjoying school life. I never enjoyed studying since I went to school. I remember being forced to study for dictation in Primary 1 or something. It was so dreadful. I wouldn't say studying in the UK is very enjoyable because I still had to study after all. But I think it is definitely more enjoyable. We have more holidays and when I say "holidays", I really mean "holidays". No need to go back to school for extra lessons, CCAs, camps, etc (unless of course, you choose to).

2) Being completely independent. I know a lot of people are forced to be more independent but I really learnt to be 100% independent there. I never asked anyone to accompany me to go shopping, watch movies, cook, wash clothes, wash dishes, clean my room, study, share notes, travel, etc. I did it all on my own. I only accepted invites or invited people over during the holidays like Christmas.

3) Making new friends. I have just listed this to be "disadvantage". So why is it an "advantage" now? I think it is important to make friends from all walks of life and backgrounds. Yes, finding a Singaporean bosom buddy is tough and making friends from other countries is daunting. But I think travelling thousands of miles to meet the same old Singaporeans is not worth it. It's a pity. I like the fact that we have students from all over the world. I celebrated my first Thanksgiving there. I also went for a few international pot luck dinners which was really heartwarming.

Oh, and by the way, I was warned that people could be racists there. But I have never encountered a single racist person in the UK. Not once.

4) Learning more about myself. Being away from familiar surroundings made me realize that I had been so sheltered and protected in Singapore. My goals used to be
- Getting good grades
- Finding a good job
- Marrying a good husband
- Having a good house
- Giving birth to good babies
- Dying in a peaceful and good way
and I realised that these are not my goals actually. These are every Singaporean's goals. Yes, I want to have a good life but I also want to pursue things that are not measured by how much we are worth in cash/asset or attractiveness. What exactly is "good"? What if I am happy being mediocre? Am I a failure then? Would I be less happy? I have more questions but I have stopped asking myself. It is mind-boggling.
I have just come to a conclusion that my main goal in life is to be content ; or even better, to be happy. Our quest to attain perfection is just exhausting and pointless. Life is already very tiring so why make it even more tragic?

____________________

After reading this post a year later, I think I sound quite preachy and "beauty pageanty" but it is honestly how I feel. It still remains the same so if you feel slightly put off by this post, I apologise?

____________________
I would like to thank the following people for making my past year an unforgettable one:

- My family (My mother, especially)
- My extended family (My uncles, aunties, cousins)
- My friends in Singapore
- My friends in the UK
- My novio
- My teachers (My personal tutor in University, especially.)
- My dog